Diana's Observations on Ridiculous Scenarios
by sarcasticallydelicious
Summary: She woke with a splitting headache in a room refusing to be her own. Crack, Leona/Diana in the throes of an OOC epidemic. Edited to fix formatting errors.


A/N: Thank you to the reviewers who mentioned the formatting problems.

Diana woke, head swimming. The light burned her eyes, and promised much more pain to come, given that it was the cool blue light of dawn. She had no idea what she had been doing last night, but it had obviously involved way too much alcohol and some less than optimal decisions.

Diana woke, head swimming. The light burned her eyes, and promised much more pain to come, given that it was the cool blue light of dawn. She had no idea what she had been doing last night, but it had obviously involved way too much alcohol and some less than optimal decisions.

Throwing off her blanket and using her bed to pull herself upright, she shambled over to to the dresser, looking her pitcher of water. The pitcher wasn't there and the dresser was higher than usual, but there was a glass of water atop it so she forgave it. The water was easily the most delicious thing she had ever tasted. The glass emptied far too quickly and she looked around for more.

A glint of light sent her staggering back, raising a heavy arm to shield her eyes. The blinding beam disappeared and she looked up. Apparently the dresser's growth had also spawned a mirror above it. This new item adorning her wall was not making a good first impression; it made it its business to inform her that not only had she drank too much last night, but that she looked, objectively, like she'd taken a trip to the Void and back.

Somehow she'd managed to fall asleep after getting only halfway out of her underclothes, her bra bunch up around her waist and her underwear clinging desperately to one ankle. Her face was a messy smear of black makeup with indented patterns where she'd apparently pressed it a rumpled sheet and a pair of strangely regular loops. To complete the image, her hair was a matted nest around her headband, and she had several bruises of unknown origin turning her skin various shades of purple.

She bent to retrieve her underwear, but quickly aborted that line of thought when her head threatened to secede from the rest of her body. Instead she leaned on the too-high dresser and tried to regain her bearings.

On closer inspection, a large number of her possessions had decided to join in on the dresser's overnight transformation. Gone were her bookshelf and desk and lamp. Gone were her lunar sigil and armor rack and stand for her khoppe…khopsi…sword. Or maybe they weren't gone. Maybe they were just hiding behind the room's spare furnishing and aggressively shiny wall hanging.

Diana's head began to swim again and she gave in this time, lowering herself to the floor. She landed on something soft, which, on closer inspection revealed itself to be a discarded tunic. Groggily, Diana shifted her weight off it and pulled it over her head. It smelled nice.

Closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the cool wood, Diana tried to remember what had happened last night.

There had been a party, she was pretty sure of that, thrown by a champion (was it that loud Demacian girl?) celebrating…something. Diana ignored that missing piece of information, since she probably would have forgotten without the assistance of alcohol, given that such pieces of information were wastes of space. Morgana had dragged her along, something about refusing to not even make an appearance if her sister was going to, or some other half-assed rationalization. Diana had allowed it because that meant she didn't have to do any rationalizing of her own.

There had been dancing, or whatever one would call that shuffling assault on the eye Maokai was doing, and music from that band-in-only-the-loosest-sense-of-the-word Pentakill. She remembered thinking that a Demacian noble should have been able to book a room with better ventilation, sitting across a table from the fallen angel as they mutually ignored each other to glower at their respective shiny counterparts, and having downed quite a few tumblerfulls of the unidentified liquid from the punch bowl.

She remembered having to fish Lulu out of that bowl as one point. In retrospect, that probably should have been a red flag.

Her headache having receded to a dull whooshing in her ears, Diana hazarded reopening her eyes. The light stabbed them with a little less intensity, which she counted as her victory. Stupid sunlight.

Speaking of sunlight, her new vantage point of the floor made the wall's new shiny decor a heck of a lot less blinding and a heck of a lot more recognizable.

"Fuck."

Diana stumbled up, grasping wildly at the dresser, which apparently had a legitimate reason for not being the same size and shape as her own, eyes darting around widely. She had to get her clothes and get out of here. Ideally before the room's owner realized she was there.

A snort erupted from the pile of blankets next to the bed and it turned itself over.

That's just unfair, Diana thought as she stumbled around hurriedly collecting pauldrons and bracers. How the heck did the freaking avatar of the sun manage to sleep in later than she did?

She was about to make her escape, gingerly jiggling the door handle under her precarious pile of armor pieces, when she heard a rustle behind her.

Cursing under her breath, she grappled with the handle and lost miserably. Her armor (historic Lunari relics! she thought, wincing) fell to the floor with a crash.

"Diana." Well, there went her hopes that her bedhead would save her from being recognized. "Diana, what are you doing?"

Diana turned slowly. It didn't look like she was getting out of this one unscathed, so she might as well go down swinging.

The previous night had apparently treated her opponent about as well as it had treated her. Leona's bangs stood away from her face like tailfeathers while the rest of her matted mess of hair fell as if arranged to (mostly) censor her indecent bits. One arm trailed her bra and the other held a supporting hand against her flushed forehead. She was also sporting a nice set of bruised purple splotches. While she'd managed to retain her underwear, she had to take a moment to disentangle her feet from her pant legs before she could stand.

Diana refused to give her time to gather her senses, particularly since her face appeared intent on boiling her brain. "What do you think I'm doing? I'm getting away from you and whatever Solari deception your perpetrating!"

Leona stumbled slightly as she stood, her curtain of hair coming dangerously close to flashing Diana a view. She looked her straight in the eye, her frank expression in direct contract to her disheveled appearance. "Diana, I don't know what happened last night, but let's not play this game. Can't we just fuck and be done with this stupid feud?"

Diana froze, her eyes going wide and face going up a few more degrees. Yes, her brain must be boiling; that was the only explanation for what she'd just heard come out of the Solari's mouth. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're wearing my shirt, you have my bra hook imprinted on your cheek and you haven't stopped staring at my chest since you turned around."

Damn, she didn't have a counterargument for that.

"Fine, whatever." Diana took too steps across the room, grabbed Leona's face, and pulled their lips together.

Lux squeaked as a hand fell over her eyes and turned her head from the view screen.

"That's enough, Rainbows. Give the girls some privacy."

Lux made a face. "The ward only has another minute or two on it anyway. Why don't we just watch until it runs out?"

"Nope." The hands removed themselves from Lux's eyes and their owner grinned at her. "The deal was that I helped you carry them to the room, and I got to say when to pull the plug on the show. We're pulling the plug."

"Fine," the girl pouted, "but don't expect me to throw any more parties so you can prank our fellow champions. It's not like it's anything I haven't seen before."

Vi's grin stayed firmly in place as she dramatically made a fist with her humorously over sized but no less intimidating gauntlet. "I'm well aware.  
Don't expect me to go so easy on you the next time I catch you sneaking around during my "special time" with the missus."

The screen behind them went silent, which was good, since from the sounds of things their fellow champions were a bit more enthusiastic than they had let on. Hopefully, Lux thought, this would mean Leona would be less mopey at Support group tea this week. And Diana might be a little less creepy watching her from the bushes.

Reversing her pout, Lux turned to the Piltover Enforcer, gleam back in her eye. "We're still on for operation "Truly Outrageous," right?"

"Absolutely."


End file.
